THE COLD HARD REALITY OF ISLAM FOR WOMEN

by Abul Kasem

05 Sep, 2008

 

Dear Mr. Kasem

I have got your internet web site by fortune, looking for some advice to a friend that seems to be in love with an Egyptian man that she knew this summer.

Let me to introduce me and my friend, to explain how things happened and what are her concerns.

My name is Peter, I live in Netherlands, my wife has a very good friend of her, called her Jennifer. Jennifer is married but his husband is totally out of all this.

Last summer we went to Egypt to one of these Nile cruises, we were five: my wife, my two sons , Jennifer and me. Jennifer's husband could not come because he worked during summer.

We knew the boat staff. There was a young muslim man, the one on charge of the reception desk at the boat, he started to flirt with Jennifer, let me to call him Mohamed, he is 28 years old and single. During our travel there were caresses by the arms and legs, but nothing else.

They agreed to call them by phone when we arrive to Netherlands because he wanted to hear her voice and that was all in Egypt, but in Netherlands things changed.

When we arrived Jennifer phoned to Mohamed and they started to speak and to intimate too. It seems, as she tells my wife, that their conversations are too hot.

He asked her to sent some sexy photographs and she sent some sexy but neither erotic nor porno photos.

When they speak their excitation is so high that even they masturbate, Jennifer says that is like they were really doing love each other. They are doing this now, even in Ramadan time but late at night, when Jennifer's husband is sleeping.

Now Mohamed wants that Jennifer leaves her husband and goes to Egypt to marry with him but Jennifer does not want to leave his husband. She says that Mohamed is like a dream, she knows that this is a kind of adventure but she would like became reality what they speak or do by means of the phone.

He says Jennifer and her husband are Dutch married but Jennifer and Mohamed are Egiptian married. She tries to explain that Mohamed is not her real husband but Jennifer only speaks Dutch and Mohamed does not speak Dutch at all, so they are problems to communicate their thoughts.

In spite of this she would never leave her husband. Then a lot of questions arise due to religion, we are not Muslims we are Lutherans.

Let me to ask you some of them as an expert in Islamic religion to know your impressions.

It seems that Mohamed have had sexual relations before, Jennifer does not know how many but she suspects that not much.

Is not forbidden to masturbate during Ramadan time, even at night with a woman that is not the wife?

He insists to her to visit him next year. First he proposed love in his apartment but it seems that his family live with him so she refused. Then he has proposed a hotel in Cairo or Aswan for several days.

She has also refused because she is afraid to be with him several days, she wants only one night.

If they meet in a future, will he treat her as something of his own? will he try that she do anything he likes even she does not like?

What Mohamed can think about Jennifer if she does not have her pubis shaved? Will he accept it?

Will Mohamed accept to make love with preservative, with condom? I have heard that Muslims hate condoms.

Are there some things about sex totally forbidden for Muslims?, postures, touchments or similars?

She knows she perhaps commit adultery and it is awful in Muslim countries, can he try to use this to blackmail her and get from her as much as possible (money, sex or any other thing)?

After Jennifer make her dream reality she thinks to come back home and that all this finish in a nice friendship, can she have problems with Mohamed because he considers her of his own?

Sir I am very sorry to ask you these questions, it seems a sex or love consult instead of questions about religion but she is a very good friend of my wife, almost like a sister, and we are "worried" about her.

Any other indication you can tell us would be welcome

I apologize for any inconveniences or things that can offend you, our ignorance about Islam is so high that I considered a good idea to ask you.

Thanks in advance for your time and patience.

Best regards

Peter

Dear Peter;

Thank you for your e-mail. I appreciate that you took the trouble to write to me about the predicament of your wife’s girl-friend, who happens to have fallen in love/sexual relationship with a Muslim man in Egypt.

While I find nothing wrong for a western (Dutch) woman to be doting with a young, handsome and amorous Egyptian man, I sense some trouble for this gullible western lady, who is married, and who, I guess, has very little idea about an Islamic society. The problem is not Egypt or the Egyptian man; the problem is Islam, since Egypt is ruled by Sharia or Islamic laws, especially for marital affairs, including sex, whether inside marriage or outside marriage or whether consensual or not.

First, in an Islamic society such as Egypt, it is a serious crime to have unlawful sexual relationship; the punishment might be severe. Jennifer was lucky enough not to be caught by the Egyptian religious police for having physical proximity with a Muslim man, whether that led to actual sexual intercourse or not is immaterial. In many Islamic countries, she could have faced flogging or long-term jail, for indulging in indecent/immoral relationship. Since she was married, she could have even faced stoning to death, if such sharia law is active in Egypt.

One might say, in Egypt, bribery is rife, and one could easily escape such harsh punishment through graft. Nevertheless, I shall suggest that it is a huge risk an infidel woman takes whenever she pines a Muslim man in an Islamic paradise such as Egypt.

So, my first suggestion to this lady would be to cut off every contact with this Muslim Egyptian.

Now, I shall reply your specific passages.

You wrote:

We knew the boat staff. There was a young muslim man, the one on charge of the reception desk at the boat, he started to flirt with Jennifer, let me to call him Mohamed, he is 28 years old and single. During our travel there were caresses by the arms and legs, but nothing else.

My response
I am not at all surprised with Mohamed’s behaviour. In an Islamic/Arabic society, it will be extremely difficult for him to secure a woman, without marriage, to have fun with No wonder he found a good prey in a western woman, who is not that inhibited and who has liberal attitude towards sex and physical intimacy. This Muslim man took full advantage of the vulnerable position, and the laissez-faire attitude of the Dutch lady.

You wrote:

When they speak their excitation is so high that even they masturbate, Jennifer says that is like they were really doing love each other. They are doing this now, even in Ramadan time but late at night, when Jennifer's husband is sleeping.

My response:
This confirms Mohamed's great desire for sex with infidel women. I would say, he will find it hard to have this kind of heightened sexual gratification through telephone had he tried with an Arab Muslim woman. I think Jennifer should sniff danger in this ‘remote control’ sex.

You wrote

Is not forbidden to masturbate during Ramadan time, even at night with a woman that is not the wife?

My response:
Islam forbids masturbation by male or female, though I have not found the word ‘masturbation’ in the Qur’an or in any Sahih Sitta (the six authentic Hadis collections). Sharia law considers masturbation as committing adultery (zina) with oneself, or the adultery of the hands, though no specific punishment is prescribed. Islamic texts tell us that on the day of resurrection the hands of a masturbator (male or female) will become pregnant. You might laugh at Islamic laws—how could one catch a masturbator—it is nearly impossible, because such DIY sexual gratification is committed in utmost privacy.

Yes, a Muslim, male or female, cannot masturbate during Ramadan. Sharia law says his/her fast will be broken if he/she masturbates during fasting times. Please read the above link for details.

Please note that in Islamic tradition, a woman must be circumcised by surgically removing her clitoris. One of the reasons for such a savage practice is to prevent the woman from masturbation. Unfortunately, for an Islamic man it is impossible, as this might result in the loss of his penis altogether.

You wrote

If they meet in a future, will he treat her as something of his own? will he try that she do anything he likes even she does not like?

My response
In Islam, infidel women are considered immoral, harlots, prostitutes, and sexual objects. It is quite legal to have sex with infidel women, without marrying them; for, they are, in the strict Islamic sense, nothing but captives when they happen to be in the hands of her Islamic captor.

Therefore, I suspect, if Mohamed is a true Muslim, he can never treat Jennifer as a respectable woman, worth to be his dignified wife or life-partner. I cannot be certain of this, though.

You wrote,

Will he think about her as a "one night wife" of a "one night married" instead about romantic love?

Response: In Islam, it is possible to have ‘one night stand’ or even a few minutes stand through ‘Muta’ and/or Misyar marriage. But, to engage in such a ‘one night stand’, Jennifer must convert to Islam and marry Mohamed for whatever short term it is. It may even be necessary for her to proceed through female circumcision (excision of clitoris), as this is widely practiced in Egypt, though illegal to the extent that the law is rarely enforced. It is believed that more than ninety percent of Egyptian Muslim women undergo such genital mutilation.

You wrote:

If they meet in a future, will he treat her as something of his own? will he try that she do anything he likes even she does not like?

My response:
In Islam, a woman is a man’s possession. In a hadis, it is written that a woman is a property to a man. Therefore, if Mohamed follows Islamic principle, nothing should prevent him from treating Jennifer as his chattel, to be used and discarded as he pleases. Of course, Mohamed could be a nice person, if he decides not to follow Islam.

You wrote:

What Mohamed can think about Jennifer if she does not have her pubis shaved? Will he accept it?

My response:
According to hadis, a wife must shave her pubic hair if her husband returns home at night after a long journey. It is possible; Mohamed might like women’s pubic hair. In this case, he is not following Islam to the letter.

You wrote:

Will Mohamed accept to make love with preservative, with condom? I have heard that Muslims hate condoms.

My response:
I have not found any verse in the Qur’an or in ahadith which prevents the use of preservative to prevent pregnancy. Condom is a recent invention, so we may not expect any decree on this in the Islamic scriptures. I am not aware of Islamic laws which forbid the use of condom. Though controversial, the Islamic method of birth control is Azl, coitus interruptus, which involves ejaculating sperm outside vagina during orgasm. But this is allowed only in the cases of having sex with captive women or sex-slaves. A wife must consent if the husband wishes to indulge in such sexual fantasy.

You wrote:

Are there some things about sex totally forbidden for Muslims?, postures, touchments or similars?

My response:
According to the Qur’an, a husband can have sex with his wife in any manner he wishes. Although many scholars insist that anal intercourse is forbidden, I have not found any specific verse in the Qur’an or hadis on such prohibition. In fact, in Shia Islam, a man is allowed to have anal intercourse with his wife.

You wrote:

She knows she perhaps commit adultery and it is awful in Muslim countries, can he try to use this to blackmail her and get from her as much as possible (money, sex or any other thing)?

This is quite possible, I must agree with her.

You wrote:

After Jennifer make her dream reality she thinks to come back home and that all this finish in a nice friendship, can she have problems with Mohamed because he considers her of his own?

My response:
I wish her good luck, if she could escape the draconian religious inspectors and Islamic law enforcers. Instead of visiting an Islamic paradise, I think she should be happy where she is now, (the Netherlands). But then again, to open her eyes to the realities of an Islamic society, let her try, with Mohamed. She might learn a few lessons on Islamic laws.

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I have provided short and accurate answers, to the best of my knowledge. However, I shall take no responsibility for any errors or omissions, as I did not write this answer as a piece of scholarly-researched essay.

Sincerely,

Abul Kasem